A Commentary on the Cast Commentary of Jersey Shore Season 1 Episode 1: A Live Blogging

So Logan and I decided to separately type up commentary on the commentary of the first ever Jersey Shore episode. Check out how our comments line up!

Part 1

LS: Omg the roomies look like babies. Fist pumping. Hahahaha Ronnie’s laugh. Watching this makes me wonder just how this show became so big. They all sound like douchebags…..”I don’t try to date a lot of guy’s girlfriends, I just do”-Pauly D

MP: Oh Jersey Shore episode 1. It’s like I’ve forgotten how this all started. DJ Pauly D honestly just said he wants girls to cum in their pants when they hear him spin. Really? I mean, it’s a lofty goal but no music has ever been that good.

LS: Ooh there’s Rider! Proof her and Snooki were actually friends before the show. When you are commenting on your show and can quote yourself before you say something on screen it worries me.

MP: OMG. The Situation just made a “Twins” joke. A classic movie. I think I’ve also forgotten how great his abs were. Like too good. They look photoshopped. But not in a sexy Ryan Reynolds way.

LS: Sammie! HA “get with a lot of good sexy guidos”. AKA Ron?

MP: Oh man, listening to Sammi say that she wants to hook up a bunch and Ronni saying that the first rule is never fall in love at the shore is just ridiculous in retrospect.

LS: Sitch just said Sammie doesn’t dress good and I agree. She steps it up in later seasons. I forgot that a lot of them had never even gone to the Shore before for a summer.

MP: Sitch just said that Sammi doesn’t dress well. This is too good.

LS: OMG J-WOWW just looks like trash in all of these scenes. And she has skunk hair. Lolz lolz Ronnie “never fall in love at the Jersey Shore”. Ugh Angelina. Maybe hindsight bias but it seems obvious she’s not going to gel with the other roommates. Ok here they all come, Jersey Shore bitch!

MP: Everyone in the commentary is way too concerned with asking each other where each clip was filmed.

Part 2

MP: Hahahahaha I’m dying because Sitch, Sammi, and Pauly all decided to sleep in the same room because they are all “chill.” What a terrible idea.

LS: I love that the Situation is talking like he’s hot shit in the first episode. Proof he was a prime candidate for this fame. Sammie has an annoying voice when she’s talking to the camera in these driving scenes.

MP: Jwow’s hair is disgusting. Like skunky awful. Thank god she fixed that.

LS: Aw Pauly D and Mike, makes me sad because it goes downhill in a few years. Bahaha Vinny sprinting down the stairs to meet J-WOWW. Do we know if “J’WOWW” was an actual nickname before or made up for the show? No surprise, here come the shots. Ronnie wants a stripper pole in the living room-just wait two seasons Ron! Ugh Angelina. Wait Sitch knew Angelina before the show? “I don’t want to work I’m a fucking DJ”-Pauly D. But I think Pauly D ended up being the best worker!

Part 3

MP: Snooki keeps trying to touch Sitch’s package in the kitchen on the first night.

LS: Snooki is just a hot mess. She passes out on the couch upstairs, then is stripping and getting in the hot tub. Bah and falling on the stairs. And macking on all the roommates.

MP: Man. How awkward must it be to be Snooki watching herself try to get on all of her friends. Yikes.

LS: Love that they are wandering down the boardwalk without any paps/crazy fans. Ah the duck phone! Oh Mike and Sammie, I always forget about this.

MP: The whole cast keeps saying “good” instead of “well.” Annoying.

LS: And back to Snooki being the receptionist. Who gets arrested in this season? Ron?

MP: Snooki’s lack of understanding of how the duck phone works is beyond ridiculous.

LS: Vinny calling J-WOWW a shady bitch-one of the top quotes of this episode.

MP: I love the discovery of Jwow’s boyfriend. Pauly offers to help her forget him.

Part 4

MP: Ok. Snooki asks her roommates to hold her hair while she pukes. HOLD YOUR OWN HAIR. Sickkk.

LS: Just noticed the leopard rug in their kitchen. I want that! I also don’t get all this wood paneling in the Shore house. It’s MTV, couldn’t they have afforded better?

MP: Everyone, but Ronni especially, keeps calling Snooki “Snookers.”

LS: Yea it’s the SHORE STORE!

MP: No one in the house knows how to peel garlic.

LS: First family dinner! Mike should make a cookbook. Why is the Holy Bible prominently displayed on the table?

MP: THERE IS A BIBLE ON THE DINNER TABLE. Why? Do you honestly need a bible present to say grace?

MP: Sigh. I miss Jersey Shore.

Part 5

MP: I think Pauly has a giant Cadillac tattoo. What was the thought process behind that?

LS: First episode, the guys don’t even have to leave the Shore house to get girls. Why did this not happen for them more often? But these chicks are kind of grenades. I love that Ronnie is being the voice of reason in this scene. And he looks adorable with that fedora. This scene is pretty skanky.

MP: It’s crazy to watch the first season because this was long before anyone knew who these people were. So there’s no one following them on the boardwalk, no giant crowds, no one to crowd them at bars. The random chicks brought upstairs are definitely grenades.

LS: I just remembered season two when Angelina and Vinny hook up. Yuck.

MP: Sammi and Angelina watching the hot tub party is really, really uncomfortable.

Part 6

MP: So the JS guys are about to go to a random shore house with some high school girls. Bizarre.

LS: Vinny clearly doesn’t understand bro code.

MP: I think this might be the first time some of the cast has watched this episode.

LS: …Meanwhile Snooki is packing.

MP: Angelina may have just said “Bring some girls with some classes!”

Part 7

LS: Ugh what if Snooki had actually left? Ron has no sympathy. And did they not know her name or like “Snickers/Snookers” better? Clifffhanger!

MP: Seriously in this episode, Snooki looks an awful lot like her SNL parody counterpart.


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